Friday, May 31, 2013

I think I might be going stir crazy with this rain.  I want to DO things and TALK to people!!! GAh!!

Best Thing I Read In a Long Time

 OMG, this me!!!!  I so wish that I had written this blog post.  It seriously is my life.  For reals.  Oh blog writer lady, we are kindred spirits, you and I.  -Colista
Worst End of School Year Mom Ever

by Jen Hatmaker on May 30th, 2013

You know the Beginning of School Enthusiasm? When the pencils are fresh and the notebooks are new and the kids’ backpacks don’t look like they lined the den of a pack of filthy hyenas? Moms, remember how you packed innovative and nutritional lunches and laid clothes out the night before and labeled shelves for each child’s work and school correspondence and completed homework in a timely manner?

I am exactly still like that at the end of school, except the opposite.

We are limping, limping across the finish line, folks. I tapped out somewhere in April and at this point, it is a miracle my kids are still even going to school. I haven’t checked homework folders in three weeks, because, well, I just can’t. Cannot. Can. Not. I can’t look at the homework in the folder. Is there homework in the folder? I don’t even know. Are other moms still looking in the homework folder? I don’t even care.
 Last signature: April 26th. I'm good at other things.

I feel like any sort of school energy required at this point is pure oppression, like the universe is trying to destroy me. I’m so tiiiiiiiiired and I have five kids and that is just too many to educate well. I can only handle around two, so I’m going with Sydney and Caleb because they both like to read and the other three are just going to have to enroll in Life Skills Class one day and develop a trade.

Yesterday Remy brought her books to me at bedtime – an hour notable for its propensity to incite rage and trauma – and chirped, “We need to read for 20 minutes!” and a little part of my soul died.

“No, we don’t have to read tonight.”
“YES WE DO!!! MRS. BURKE SAID!!! WE HAAAAVE TO!!!”
“We already read.”
“NO WE DIDN’T!!! YOU ARE FAKING ME, MOM?”
“When I talk to you during the day, that’s like reading. You have to listen to the words I am saying and then make sense of them. It’s really hard work for you. It’s called auditory reading. We’ve been practicing all day. I’ll write the minutes down in your log.”

My friend Glennon over at Momastery described nighttime reading like this: “The little one wants to ‘help read’ her book. So, let’s see. It takes her about six minutes to sound out each word, and so if the book is one hundred words, well, I don’t specialize in math but I am telling you that I am stuck in that room FOREVER. It feels like I will be reading that book with Amma until I die.”

UNTIL WE DIE. Children should not be allowed to learn to read until they are already good at it. And why do we have to do this at bedtime when I’m one click away from becoming that scary under-the-bed-mother in “Mama” (GO TO BED OR I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE AND THEN HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AS A TERRIFYING CLOWN). I know having an emerging reader is exciting.  Because of the reading! And the literacy! But at the end of the school year, when I’ve logged approximately 688 million hours with such gripping plots like The mother and the brother went to the store, which takes 12 minutes to decode, then I have to look at the ceiling and sing hymns in my brain to get through it.

Then Ben tells me Tuesday that he needs a Ben Franklin costume for the Living History Museum today, and I’m like what fresh hell is this?? I have no idea how I missed the correspondence on this (because I’m not checking backpacks is just a theory), but Brandon is the Costume and Project Parent and I am the Daily Grinder, which is a division of labor we agreed on to ensure our kids actually graduate one day and move out, but he is out of town on a mancation, so this is on me. I cannot even handle signing a folder in late May; a colonial costume is cause for full, unrestrained despair.

So Ben went to school like this today, and there is no way this will ever not be a part of his childhood. Please note my scarf hanging out the bottom of his vest, as well as the soccer socks stretched over his Adidas pants. Just whatever, man.
 "Mom, I should've picked a black character. Like Abraham Lincoln." Bless it.

My shame was somewhat mitigated when I saw a kid wearing a random t-shirt and jeans with a pair of swim goggles around his neck (Michael Phelps) and another girl with a piece of paper taped to her shirt with her character’s name written in marker. I caught the eyes of their moms and was all solidarity, you guys.

Teachers, we need to make a deal that after April testing, we don’t have to do anything else. You don’t. I don’t. I don’t care if you watch movies in class five days a week and take four recesses a day. I mean, Caleb had to bring an About Me poster with five school days left in the year. In September, this might have produced something noteworthy, with pictures perhaps, even some thoughtful components to describe his winning qualities, but as we’ve used up all our bandwidth, we yanked trash out of our actual trash can, glued it to a poster, and called it a day. I am not exaggerating when I tell you this is the very most we can do on May 29th. This is our best work:
Note the caveman labels: DRINK, MOTORCYCLE, GAME, SHOP, FOOD.
End of school hard.

The emails coming in for All Of The Things – class gift, end of year letters, luncheon signup, party supplies, awards ceremonies, pictures for the slide shows, final projects – are like a tsunami of doom. They are endless. I mean, they will never ever end. There is no end of it. I will never finish and turn it all in and get it to the (correct) Room Mom and get it all emailed and I am pretty sure the final week of school will never be over and this is the end for me.

Brandon:

“You don’t have to do all that, you know. Just blow it off.”

Me, staring blankly:

“Well, what a lovely thought you’re having there in your brain. How nice for you to be thinking that thought. I want to live in your imaginary world where my failure to do the School Stuff doesn’t mean our kid is the only one not wearing a purple shirt or didn’t have his pictures in the slideshow or didn’t bring in a handmade card for his teacher like every other student. I’ll just ‘blow it off’ and our kids can work it out with their therapists later.”

“Touchy.”

“You don’t even know about all this, man.”

So, Mom out there sending Lunchables with your kid, making her wear shoes with holes because we’re.almost.there, practicing “auditory reading” with your 1st grader, I got your back, sister. We were awesome back in October; don’t you forget that. We used to care, and that counts for something. Next year’s teachers will get a fresher version of us in August, and they won’t even know the levels of suckage we will succumb to by May. Hang in there, Mama. Just a few more days until summer, when approximately 19 minutes into our glorious respite from homework, liberated from the crush of it all, ready to party like it’s 1999, our precious children, having whooped and celebrated and “graduated” and squealed all the way home will announce:

“I’m bored.”

Let Me Know

If anyone wants any of our family pics you need to let me know or you will probably end up with nothing.  I don't know what pics or what size of pics any of you would like, if any at all.  I have already ordered a large canvas and some other things but I still need to order some prints.  I will be doing it within the next week.  So, let me know.  (for reals, let me know, I don't read minds).  And sorry friends, this is only for family members.  I cannot get pics for every person I know....that will happen at Christmas.  Oh and speaking of Christmas, since we bumped our Christmas club up we are well on track for going away for Christmas.  We still can't decide if we want to do it or not.  Maybe take my mom along for help???? Mom??? Hello? 

Summer Thoughts

Thinking about summer plans....has me pondering on swimming lessons.  It is a love/hate thing for me.  I love the idea of it and that my kids will be learning a valuable lesson.  I love how happy it makes them to swim every day.  I love their smiles and laughs.  I love all that good stuff.  I hate getting ready for it each morning, loading the car and unloading the car a million times, dragging kids crying and screaming, yelling at kids to not run off or die in the water, chasing kids around with my fat butt hanging out, trying to NOT look like a crazy person the whole time, how much it all costs, etc., etc.  I am absolutely exhausted by the time we get done each day.  It is hard work and mentally exhausting too.  I am especially dreading it this year because I am about certain that Eden and possibly Cullen are both at annoying stages.  Cullen is scared and glued to my hip and Eden is NOT scared and will NOT be glued to my hip.  She will be running amuck....I just know it.  I will be the looney mom running around yelling at everyone.  *sigh*  I thought about just paying the extra money and keeping them here in Carthage at the Carthage pool for lessons.  I could take just a couple at a time then or at different times and let the others stay home or play in the park.  I haven't really looked into it though to see if it would work. 

Stuff

I am slightly obsessed with my camera.  I want another new lens for it....like a macro one so I can photograph itty bitty tiny things like bugs and such.  Jeremy got me two lenses when he gave it to me.  I didn't realize how much each lens was!!!  Crap a dog!  It's $350 for each lens....or more even.  I have so much fun taking pictures though.  Way more than I ever did with my regular snapshot camera.  I want to chase tornadoes and take pictures.  That would be so fun!  Maybe I should put that on the summer bucket list.  We are making the poster board today so we can see our goals and tackle them head on.  Jeremy and I are also going to make a vision board for ourselves.  Now, if we can get this rain to stop we can actually so we can actually accomplish something this summer!

Life

I love this! It applies to so many situations.  And it is true!!!  Sometimes  I look back on the harder times of my life and wonder just how in the heck I got through it.  Because when you are in the midst of it all, it seems as though there is no way out and it will never end.  And somehow, inevitably things work themselves out.  Just hang in there.

Another Goody


Real Mexican


My niece posted this.  She still lives out west.  No one around here knows what real Mexican food is.  And then when they get it, they think it's wrong because it's not American-ized, lol! We used to go to the little taco stands on the sidewalks of downtown Salt Lake all the time!! Best tacos ever!!  We have to go there soon......

Love This

Steve Wiens: To Parents of Small Children: Let Me Be the One Who Says It Out Loud
May 3, 2013 17:02:32
I am in a season of my life right now where I feel bone-tired almost all of the time. Ragged, how-am-I-going-to-make-it-to-the-end-of-the-day, eyes burning exhausted.
I have three boys ages 5 and under. I'm not complaining about that. Well, maybe I am a little bit. But I know that there are people who would give anything for a house full of laughter and chaos. I was that person for years and years; the pain of infertility is stabbing and throbbing and constant. I remember allowing hope to rise and then seeing it crash all around me, month after month, for seven years. I am working on another post about infertility that will come at a later date.
But right now, in my actual life, I have three boys ages 5 and under. There are many moments where they are utterly delightful, like last week, when Isaac told my sister-in-law that, "My daddy has hair all over." Or when Elijah put a green washcloth over his chin and cheeks, and proudly declared, "Daddy! I have a beard just like you!" Or when Ben sneaks downstairs in the morning before the other boys do, smiles at me, and says, "Daddy and Ben time."
But there are also many moments when I have no idea how I'm going to make it until their bedtime. The constant demands, the needs and the fighting are fingernails across the chalkboard every single day.
One of my children is for sure going to be the next Steve Jobs. I now have immense empathy for his parents. He has a precise vision of what he wants -- exactly that way and no other way. Sometimes, it's the way his plate needs to be centered exactly to his chair, or how his socks go on, or exactly how the picture of the pink dolphin needs to look -- with brave eyes, not sad eyes, daddy! He is a laser beam, and he is not satisfied until it's exactly right.
I have to confess that sometimes, the sound of his screaming drives me to hide in the pantry. And I will neither confirm nor deny that while in there, I compulsively eat chips and/or dark chocolate.
There are people who say this to me:
"You should enjoy every moment now! They grow up so fast!"
I usually smile and give some sort of guffaw, but inside, I secretly want to hold them under water. Just for a minute or so. Just until they panic a little.
If you have friends with small children -- especially if your children are now teenagers or if they're grown -- please vow to me right now that you will never say this to them. Not because it's not true, but because it really, really doesn't help.
We know it's true that they grow up too fast. But feeling like I have to enjoy every moment doesn't feel like a gift, it feels like one more thing that is impossible to do, and right now, that list is way too long. Not every moment is enjoyable as a parent; it wasn't for you, and it isn't for me. You just have obviously forgotten. I can forgive you for that. But if you tell me to enjoy every moment one more time, I will need to break up with you.
If you are a parent of small children, you know that there are moments of spectacular delight, and you can't believe you get to be around these little people. But let me be the one who says the following things out loud:
You are not a terrible parent if you can't figure out a way for your children to eat as healthy as your friend's children do. She's obviously using a bizarre and probably illegal form of hypnotism.
You are not a terrible parent if you yell at your kids sometimes. You have little dictators living in your house. If someone else talked to you like that, they'd be put in prison.
You are not a terrible parent if you can't figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.
You are not a terrible parent if you'd rather be at work.
You are not a terrible parent if you just can't wait for them to go to bed.
You are not a terrible parent if the sound of their voices sometimes makes you want to drink and never stop.
You're not a terrible parent.
You're an actual parent with limits. You cannot do it all. We all need to admit that one of the casualties specific to our information saturated culture is that we have sky-scraper standards for parenting, where we feel like we're failing horribly if we feed our children chicken nuggets and we let them watch TV in the morning.
One of the reasons we are so exhausted is that we are oversaturated with information about the kind of parents we should be.
So, maybe it's time to stop reading the blogs that tell you how to raise the next president who knows how to read when she's 3 and who cooks, not only eats, her vegetables. Maybe it's time to embrace being the kind of parent who says sorry when you yell. Who models what it's like to take time for yourself. Who asks God to help you to be a better version of the person that you actually are, not for more strength to be an ideal parent.
So, the next time you see your friends with small children with that foggy and desperate look in their eyes, order them a pizza and send it to their house that night. Volunteer to take their kids for a few hours so they can be alone in their own house and have sex when they're not so tired, for heaven's sake. Put your hand on their shoulder, look them in the eyes, and tell them that they're doing a good job. Just don't freak out if they start weeping uncontrollably. Most of the time, we feel like we're botching the whole deal and our kids will turn into horrible criminals who hate us and will never want to be around us when they're older.
You're bone-tired. I'm not sure when it's going to get better. Today might be a good day or it might be the day that you lost it in a way that surprised even yourself.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
You're not alone.
This post originally appeared on The Actual Pastor.




I love this article.  It wouldn't let me post at the top for some reason....probably because I copied and pasted it.  But, I wanted to have this article in the book when printed.  This is how I feel CONSTANTLY.  Only instead of three kids, it's double that, lol!  I always feel judged by everyone around me about how I am with my children, like it some sort of competition.  And the advice....oh, the advice!! Gah, like I don't have enough to worry about....now I have to worry about what someone thinks about my views on government schooling or smelling my kids hair.  It is mentally exhausting.  And there are days where Jeremy and I wonder just what the heck we were thinking!??!lol!  But, the sweet, tender moments always win out.  

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Wind and Such

I hate when I have a post that will require tons of pictures and typing and explaining! haha!  It takes forever!  I have a few right now that I am working on but, never seem to get finished.  Whatever. So, posting memes is easier.  And hilarious.
Today was the first day with all kids home for the summer!  It. was. awesome. 
For reals.  Everything was great.  We all talked about what we want to accomplish this summer and some fun things we will be doing....and some not so fun things.  Things like cleaning the toilet.  The morning started out with a lesson in toilet cleaning per mom's standards for Tristan, Cedric, Liam, and Asher.  They weren't as appalled as I thought they might be.  Cedric has done it in the past for me but, not on a regular basis.  And I think it made them realize how careful they need to be with their "hoses".  :)  Anyway, every morning someone will be in charge of cleaning the toilet.  W are going to make a summer bucket list of things to cross off.  We are also planning on being in the Hancock County Fourth of July parade.  The theme is "Salute to the Movies".  I can't think of anything clever...so far.  hmmmm.  Also, afterwards we will be having a big bash at our house so stay tuned for information about all that!
The wind blew like a bat outta hell!  It was bliss.  I LOVE the sound of the wind in the trees...it calms my soul.  I swear the trees were talking.  The kids played outside a lot.  I will post some pics of the three oldest boys having an airsoft war!  They geared up even more than I would have made them.  I guess they are paranoid too!  Smart kids, I tell ya!  Later Liam had his friend, Mikey come over. 
Tonight was Cedric's night out....I will post a separate post about that I suppose. 

Professional Meme Writer














Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Shack It Up

I told Jeremy that I want a house in every state so that we could travel all the time and always have somewhere to go.  He just laughed at me and said: "Maybe a shack in every state!"  What the hell? Bahahahaha!  I guess a shack is a start....am I right?!  Yes, I am.

School's Out For Summer!

School is out again!!!  Well, they do have to go in the morning for report cards but, they don't have to stay.  They can just run in, pick it up, and run back out!  Sweet!  It is hot, crazy, loud, fun, messy, and happy in the house right now!!  Everyone is excited!  And it is my 14th wedding anniversary to the greatest man on the planet, my Jeremy!!  This day is gonna rock my socks!  I hope the rain stays away because it is outside today for us!

I have gotten totally out of the habit of doing my Arbonne health stuff.  Which is annoying.  I have 30 extra pounds to prove it too!  LOL!  So, I ordered a crap ton of fresh new products for myself.  I plan on doing a whole month of the new detox wraps, 7 day cleanses, and the 30 day fit kit.  I want my mind, body, and spirit renewed....especially after paragard.  (Which I am happy to report, my body is finally going back to normal in terms of mood, periods, etc.!!!  SCORE!) Anyway, I also want to fit into last years swim suits.  The very first month I ever did Arbonne I lost 21 or 23 pounds, I can't remember.  So, I am hoping to have that success again.  I am building up my will power and trying to put my mind and thoughts in the right frame too.  It's gonna be awesome.  

Friday, May 24, 2013

Funny


Liam's Thursday Night Out

Last night Jeremy took Liam out for his Thursday Night Out.  Liam wanted to go to Dairy Queen.  He ordered a chocolate/vanilla twist cone and a vanilla shake.  Nutritious, much!??!  LOL!  That's what he got though.  On the Thursday Nights Out we let them order whatever they want.  Jeremy tried to get a picture but Liam was being a silly little stinker again and wouldn't let him.  Oh well.  They both had a great time again. 
Back here at home I finally had enough energy to do some productive things.  I cleaned out my washing machine even using a method I found on pinterest. 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Cool Stuff










Best Buds

 Cullen and Eden have such a cute relationship.  They are best buds.  Oh, they can fight too but, they always laugh and have so much fun together.  Cullen had fallen asleep on the couch and Eden went and cuddled up with him on the other end of the couch.  And she says his name so sweetly too. 

 They copy each other all the time.  Cullen was laying down in the bath tub so Eden had to lay down next to him too.

They even ride the tricycle together.  And they were both smiling and laughing the whole time.  The also love to chase each other through the hose, back and forth, back and forth, giggling the whole time.

Asher Texting

Asher just realized that he can text message on facebook.  He will text me and then run downstairs and make sure I got the message.  So funny!  I LOVE it though!!  It is so fun.  And he is truly excited every time he gets a message.  If anyone gets a chance they should message him because he would be thrilled!  Here is our conversation so far today....
The stuff in parenthesis is me translating.