Thursday, October 31, 2013

This Morning

Eden was awake the ENTIRE night for the third night in a row.  I pretty much feel like my head is going to explode.  I just don't understand it.  We were out later than normal trick-or-treating in Nauvoo.  A person would think that she would be tired.  Especially after not sleeping the past three nights.  Nope.  I have a lot to do today that I just don't know if I can do right now.  All I can think is that, this too shall pass.  She won't always be this age with this particular issue to deal with.  Right?!!?  Last night was just her but, the previous two nights was a mix of the other kids too.  I started thinking back and going through my blog and old journals.....this sleep nonsense started with everyone when we moved to Carthage.  What the crap?!?!  I mean Tristan has always been a light sleeper but, we never had this many problems with keeping them asleep once they were asleep for the night.

I have many things weighing heavy on my mind and heart.  I am trying my best to be more positive and not worry about things that I cannot control or that haven't happened yet.  But, it is hard.  I worry about myself, my kids, my extended family, my friends, etc, etc, etc.  I don't like to see people around me hurt.  It hurts my heart.  I don't like to see others getting treated badly or unfairly.  And as of late I hate seeing people being so darn judgemental of others when they have little to no information or idea of what is really going on in people's heads.  It is exhausting.  I am thankful for all the good in my life though.  I know there is a lot of it.  I want to focus on that and go from there.  I want to BE THE GOOD.

I am trying to get more excited about our new baby and not worry so much about what is going to happen.  I love all my babies, the ones here with me and the ones that have already passed on.  I know that everything happens for a reason and I should accept it and enjoy the process.  I think I may need to go baby shopping!  I am truly content with either a boy or a girl and I want to stop worrying about what is going to happen and focus on what is happening now.  

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