Why Caillou Sucks So Bad

One of my St. Mary's friends posted this on facebook today and I read it and thought it was hilarious!!  Have to repost it.  Check out this girl's blog post!

http://www.chicagonow.com/baby-sideburns/2012/10/caillou-sucks-so-bad-here%E2%80%99s-another-blog-about-why-i-hate-him-2/

You can click on link above and go to her blog or I copied it here to so it would be in my book....and not just some web address, lol!

Caillou sucks so bad, here’s another blog about why I hate him

By Karen Alpert, October 23, 2012 at 9:22 am

After barely mentioning Caillou in my last blog, the amount of hatred that was unleashed on him was insane. Random people I hardly knew were coming up to me and telling me how they can’t stand him. And I totally agree. I hate that little fucker (if you think my language is too harsh, then clearly you haven’t ever watched the show). So much so that I’ve decided to make a list of the things I hate about him. Feel free to add to it.
1. What the hell kind of name is Caillou? The only people who can pull off names that weird are really good-looking people. People like Hermione. But two-dimensional, round-headed bald kids? Not so much. Ordinarily I’m crazy lazy (God I hate when I inadvertently rhyme) but since I’m writing a blog about him I decided to look up his name. Apparently Caillou is French for pebble. Well, there you go. He is about as boring as a rock.
2. Why is he bald? I’ve heard a lot of people joke that he has cancer. Because you know, leukemia is so funny. But seriously, someone once told me that by not giving him a hair color, all kids could relate to him— blondes, brunettes, redheads. What?! That makes about no sense at all. Then why not give him hair in ALL different colors? Or clear hair? How many four-year-olds have no hair? None. Well, maybe kids with alopecia, but if that’s what they’re going for then have an episode about it or something.
3. Caillou has the most annoying theme song in the history of television. As if we haven’t heard him say “I’m Caillou” enough times throughout the song, he says it like 9 times at the end of it. “I’m Caillou, Caillou, Caillou, Caillou. Caillou, Caillou, Caillou.” For the love of God, stop singing! We know who the F you are already. The show is named after you for pete’s sake.
4. I’m inventing a new drinking game. Whenever Caillou whines you take a drink. The last person to get their stomach pumped wins. And once your kid watches Caillou, it’s not just Caillou’s whiny-ass voice you have to listen to. Your kid starts to sound like that too. Remember the scene in Reservoir Dogs when the guy gets his ear cut off? Sometimes I wish that were me.
5. I’ll tell you what really irks me. The way the narrator calls Caillou’s mom “Mommy,” like it’s actually her name. The narrator says crap like, “Mommy is very good at making Caillou feel better.” The only person who should call someone Mommy is the kid who came out of her vajayjay. Period. I know some husbands do it too, but they shouldn’t. It’s wrong for so many reasons.
6. The narrator is so F’ing annoying she gets #6 too. Have you ever noticed how she’s constantly cutting in to say things like “Caillou felt sad.” No shit Sherlock, he’s crying.
7. What is up with all the dowdy moms on this show? Like Caillou’s mom (see how that works, narrator?). Not only does she dress like she’s 9,000 years old, she constantly looks like she’s free-balling. Did the illustrator forget to draw a bra on her? And if this show is all about characters we can relate to, is she supposed to look like me? Talk about insulting.  Do I walk around with my muffin top protruding beneath my shirt? No. I do what all the mothers do. I squish it into my jeans where no one can see it.
8. Musical interludes. ‘Nuff said.
9. Why is he bald? Yes, I know I already did this one, but it’s so annoying I think it merits being mentioned again.
10. I'm trying to think of one more thing to make this list an even ten, but I’m totally distracted. All I can think about is getting a snack right now. It’s 4:43 so I can’t put dinner on the table for 17 more minutes. The 17 longest minutes of my life. Besides when I’m watching Caillou.