More Sad Things

Well the last month or so has been a doozie.  So much going on, so much to do.  And nothing will slow down, much less stop to let us think and breathe.  This week the man that works for us, Bill, died unexpectedly.  He had cancer and was getting chemo.  He just worked on Saturday for us.  Apparently he had a coughing fit and had an embolism go to his heart and he died quickly.  Jeremy and I both were in shock.  Complete shock. It is just like when my Dad died.  Just BAM!  outta nowhere and you are left with your head spinning and don't know how to act. We are both supposed to go the funeral but, the funeral is today(Saturday) and we don't have a sitter.  I am not taking kids to a funeral again.  Nope. I am going to have to send my condolences through the air or something.  So not only is Bill dying very, very sad but, it does leave us in a tight spot.  Bill actually worked for us quite a bit.  He was available whenever Jeremy would call him.  And a good worker.  A while back, Jeremy decided to let Bill open the store on Saturdays for him.  Well, now we have people that know that we are open on Saturdays and rely on that because it is the only day that they can make it in.  Now, Jeremy is going to have to work the Saturdays or figure something else out.  One of the problems with that is that Jeremy and I were planning on taking Saturdays and getting our house fixed up so that it would freaking sell already.  We need to get in and paint, put up a back splash, clean up the yard to up curb appeal, new lights, etc.  We just never have time to go get anything done.   We NEED it gone fast.  Our contract is up here in July and at that point this house could be sold to someone else.  Not good.  At all. And it is making me freak the freak out.  I went over to the Carthage house on Monday with Vivianne and tried to do some things to help move the projects along.  Well, Vivi was having NOTHING to do with it.  She screamed and screamed until I got her out of her car seat and then screamed and/or got into every little thing she could.  It was pointless. 
Also to coincide or maybe because of all the recent craziness(it's not just the Bill thing) I have been going through major anxiety and mood issues.  I don't understand it.  All I know is that I hate it.  I feel so stupid sometimes(all the time, lol).  I just hope that if my kids read this later in life that they understand why their mom is kinda moody and cranky sometimes.  I love these kids with all my heart but, I am so overwhelmed right now.  I wish they knew how hard I try.  One day they will. 

Something that is awesome is that school is soon to be out for the summer!! YAY!! I am seriously contemplating homeschooling a couple of them next year again.  We shall see.  But, I need to work out these house situations first so that we have a home to have homeschool in, lol!