TRUST

 I think everyone knows that I have trust issues.  It takes me a long time to finally open up completely to someone because I have been burned SO many times.  It seems even when you invest years of your life in family, whom you should be able to trust above all else, it sometimes proves to be a pointless endeavor.  This has nothing to do with me and Jeremy.  We are GREAT!  I literally could not be happier with our relationship, our life, our kids, our living situation, etc. right now!  But, as in the past, there are people we have let into our lives that screwed us over and over, drug our names through the mud, and been overall bad people. I'm done with giving the benefit of the doubt and I am in full defensive mode.  No longer will I allow someone to lie, cheat, steal, and emotionally abuse me, my family, or those around me that I KNOW and TRUST to be wonderful people.  And let's be honest here, we all know who this post is about.....

 There are always signs and things that are heard that you try to put in the back of your mind and give the benefit of the doubt. And with this particular person, the amount of things we let slide in order to preserve feelings was a massive amount.  We would hear SO MANY THINGS all the time.  It's time to stop denying them.  The whole time we had her back, she was stabbing us in our backs.

The thing that I really appreciate is when people can at least own up to their mistakes and apologize for them.  One of the most courageous things I have ever witnessed is when I went to the jail after my nephew Zack had been arrested for burglarizing our business and others in Carthage in a drug induced binge.  He was a broken man but, still mustered the courage to own up to what he did and sincerely apologize.  He poured his heart out and asked for forgiveness, which was given.  But, the most important step he took was actually following through with his apology and took those very hard steps to change and make his wrongs right.  

From a certain person right now, there have been literally countless wrongs.  Never once have I or anyone else had an explanation, an admittance to wrong doing, an apology, nothing.  Nothing.  But, we continued to trust and accept because we had made a commitment to FAMILY.  To our detriment it seems.  But, no more.  No longer will we support and defend someone who clearly cares nothing for our FAMILY.  What I don't understand is how she can just drop us from her life like we meant absolutely NOTHING to her AT ALL, then ENTIRE TIME.  The funny thing is, she is acting like we are the ones that did something wrong here?!!?!? WTF?!?!  WE didn't do anything, YOU did. 

  This all needs to be said but, I know that I will not get the chance in person, as this person that I am talking about is a coward.  Obviously, I am not the main person involved in this situation.  But, Jeremy and I still feel the sting of betrayal.  We will not allow the names of those we love and TRUST or our names be tarnished at the hand of a pathological liar.  

 She is/has been messing with our lives in ways that make you wonder how or why she even came up with!?  It is the lowest of the low.  And then somehow in her psychopathic logic thinks that somehow none of this is her fault and she is spreading even more lies in a vain attempt to save face.  I'm sick of it and won't tolerate it.  It makes me want to puke, all the time I wasted.  And to think that I let my children be around her is even worse.  I put absolutely nothing past her at this point. Literally, NOTHING would shock me.  She crossed so many lines, so many times, that a person would have to be a complete MORON to believe her delusional lies and trust her ever again. 

What is done is done.  The choice was always yours and there were plenty of opportunities to change.  You chose wrong.  So stand there in your wrongness and be wrong.  Own it.  Admit it.  Accept it.  And dear God, freaking learn from it, finally.  Get some help.