The Ultrasound and ASD

Yesterday was an interesting day for me.  Jeremy and I were going to Peoria for my ultrasound.  We had gotten all the kids to school and I was trying to get Eden ready to go.  I put a brand new outfit on her and wanted to do her hair up extra cute since we would be at the hospital and then were going to have lunch with my friend, Tuesday, afterwards.  I have tried and tried and tried to get her to let me do her hair on a consistent basis....all to no avail.  I am lucky to get a ponytail in her hair daily and that usually ends up messy and crazy looking before too long.  I LOVE her hair, it is gorgeous!  But, she wants nothing to do with me doing it.  Ever.  But, she will let Trisha and Debbie do her hair super cute.  This usually does not bother me in the slightest.  I am so glad that they want to do her hair and that she lets them because it always looks cute.  But, yesterday, I guess I was hormonal and I have so much on my mind with everything that is going on that I was on edge and crazy anyway. So, when I tried to do her hair and she threw a huge tantrum it really bothered me to my core.  I couldn't help it.  I just sat and cried and cried.  Why won't she let ME do her hair!?!?  Jeremy came home then to load the car up so we could go and told me not to worry about it, it's not that big of a deal, and gave me a hug.  I gathered myself together and we took off for Peoria.

Now, I have had a lot of time to think about what is going on with Asher and Eden both.  Typically, I can take the news of things rather well when things are thrust upon me and I did the same for both Asher's diagnosis and Eden's impending diagnosis.  But, the more time I have to think on these things and the more doctors that are involved and the more ways we have to think and change things to function, it is starting to overwhelm me and make me wonder how we are going to cope with all this forever.  I know that Eden is being considered for being on the Autism spectrum.  And the more I learn about everything, the more frightening it is.  There were signs all along that I never knew.  Things like chronic constipation that I have blogged about before.  It is one of the most common signs of children with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).  We have to watch Eden VERY carefully to maintain her regularity and Miralax and Apple juice are staples in her diet.  Children with ASD are 3.5 times more likely to suffer from chronic constipation or diarrhea.  And there are some studies saying that the bacteria associated with chronic constipation can actually worsen ASD.  Many children on the spectrum have to be on a gluten and casein free diet to help with it all and have lots of probiotics.

The speech therapist called while were were on the road to Peoria and we are now setting up Eden's speech therapy as well.  We are starting with twice weekly.  So two times a week, we have to drive the hospital in Quincy for her speech therapy.  She is already making big improvements in her speech. And this is just the beginning.  Eden now has 6 different doctors that I have to keep straight and get to.  And Asher has 2.

After the speech therapist called.  I was looking at facebook on my phone and one of my friends in St. Louis posted a video with a comment attached.  She said that her son was bi-polar and had ADHD and she had started him on these new products and he had improved greatly.  Jeremy and I watched/listened to the video and then started researching the products.  They work great even on severely autistic children.  Non verbal children have started speaking, social skills improving, tantrums made more managable, etc.  It's something we have to look into for sure.

Anyway, we got to the hospital and I don't know if any of you have ever been to OSF in Peoria (or any large hospital for that matter) but, it is HUGE, and BUSY.  It's like an airport.  It was overwhelming for Jeremy and I, let alone Eden.  She did fairly good walking through.  She would get scared or nervous at every single door and not want to go through them.  At one point in the middle of the hallway bustling with people she just stopped and laid on the ground with her hands on her ears.  She has sensory issues we are learning more and more.  It was all just too much to process for her.  But, we just talked to her and actually didn't have any major meltdowns in the hallways.  The ultrasound itself was very thorough and very long.  Jeremy had to keep her in check the whole time and didn't get to see the baby very much.  But, the baby girl is doing great!!! Thank goodness!  The doctor there said he doesn't see anything at all wrong with her or the pregnancy!  Good news!! YAY! But, Eden was ready to go for sure.  We got in the car and rushed to meet Tuesday for lunch.

We knew it was going to be hard to take Eden to a restaurant.  But, we chose a Chinese buffet thinking that we would get food quicker and Eden may sit and eat some food for a minute.  OMG, it was a nightmare.  As soon as she went through the doors, which she was nervous of again, she couldn't handle it.  She just ran in circles and wouldn't stop.  If we picked her up she would hit and kick and struggle....and boy is she strong! Now, I know what people think.  And I hate hearing this...."If you don't take them places, they won't learn how to behave there."  Great.  I get that.  For a normally functioning kid, this makes sense.  But, children with ASD don't process the world, sounds, visual cues the way we do.  You have to do things differently with them.  Or there are the people that say or think "Learn to control your children."  I would love for these people to learn how to function with a child on the spectrum.  No one gets it until they have to go through it.  And that is another thing that makes me feel alone.  But, whatever.

 Jeremy ended up not being able to eat with us and sat in the car with Eden.  Tuesday and I ate and then sat in the car with Eden so that Jeremy could eat all by himself. :(  And such is our life.  I talked with Tuesday about it a bit.  She was very understanding.  She has a special needs nephew and knows that things have to be done differently sometimes.  Eden wouldn't talk to Tuesday and if Tuesday looked at her she would scream and cover her ears.  I am so glad to have such great friends that understand and love me anyway and my kids.  Tuesday just kept saying how cute she was and that Eden could warm up to her another time.  Which Eden will do too.   She just has to warm up and sense things on her own.  Then she is fine.

We left then because Tuesday had to get back to work and we had to get home.  I stopped at Baskin Robbins first and we had to go to McDonald's to get Eden a happy meal.  We got home after 7 at night.  Poor Eden had a poop episode.  I felt so bad.  I feel responsible for those because I am the one in charge of her diet.  She hadn't had enough apple juice.   It is really painful for her and hard.  Anyway, we got through that and put her to bed.  They day was super exhausting for all of us. 

I will obviously have a TON more to say on these topics as time goes on.  People will have to bare with me as I am learning and growing too.  Obviously she hasn't had an official diagnosis yet and I keep thinking that maybe this is just a stage she needs to go through.  I keep thinking that I don't want to overreact to any of the symptoms because you can have symptoms and not be autistic. Life is a strange little trip but, one I am glad to be on.  I only hope I can be the mom that my kids need and want.

Now, I feel bad for typing all this out.  What if she doesn't have it?  I love her either way.  She brings so much happiness to me daily.  Just looking at her brings a smile to my face.  She is my baby girl and always will be.  I just need to figure things out.  Thanks for listening.