Judging Others

I am in a sad state of affairs.  Ugh.  So depressed. And sick.  I have a bug of some sort, Coughing, headache, body aches, vomiting, etc. etc.  Fun stuff.  Here is a story......

On last Thursday, I was home alone with Eden and the other kids were at school.  For the past week or so since school started Nauvoo has been getting out early because of the heat and they don't have air conditioning.  They get out at 12:45 so our schedules have not settled into a routine yet.  Last Thurday, they were in school all day.  Jeremy came home for lunch and the three of us ate.  Eden then snuggled up in "her" chair and started watching Buzz Lightyear.  She started to doze so, when Jeremy left, I laid down on the couch and thought how great it was that I could take a nap with her!  Jeremy and I had been up a lot the night before with the youngest three and I was tired.  I made sure she was asleep and then tried to catnap.  The next thing I knew there was an old lady at the door asking if Eden was mine?!!?  What!?!?  She had woken up, unlocked the back door and left!! Apparently she was walking down the middle of main street (barefoot!) and wandering away.  The little old lady next door said she saw Eden leaving our yard and sent her husband after Eden but Eden ran away! (Like she loves to do...ugh!) So, my neighbor called one of her friends down the street to catch Eden as she went by.  The lady did and brought her back to our house.  Now, as she is telling me this, my heart is sinking in my chest!!  ANYTHING could have happened to her and I wouldn't have known.  It scares the breath right out of me.  It is my WORST nightmare!!  I thanked the old women and bought Eden inside to snuggle.  I started crying just thinking about what could have happened!!  She was asleep one second and gone the next.  I guess people won't think we are so paranoid when we say we have a video camera in her room anymore! 
I called Jeremy and told him what happened.  I had paused the Buzz Lightyear show when I came back inside with Eden and I could tell by the time index that it had been about 20 minutes.  I don't know if she was outside the entire twenty minutes or not.  Typically, I do not nap with the kids when they nap.  I try to use that time to get something done.  Why had I chosen that day to nap with her?!!?  She keeps us on our toes more than any other kid we have had.  So,  Jeremy told me to calm down (I was crying like a baby) and told me it was just an accident.  I decided to lay Eden down in her crib to finish out her nap because she was acting tired still.  She passed right out.  Then I went downstairs to try to relax a little on Facebook.  HA!
I started scrolling through the newsfeed and I see a post in the Hancock County Buy, Sell, and Trade that says something to the effect of:"What kind of parent has their three year old girl running barefoot down Main street in Carthage!?!?"  It was posted by one of my new neighbors that had just moved into the neighborhood about three or four months ago.  Why she chose to post that in a buy, sell, and trade site, I will never know.  Apparently she likes to gossip.  Anyway, the post went crazy with all kind of self-righteous know-it-alls putting in their two cents on what a bad person I must be and so on and so forth.  Let me tell you, it felt great.....NOT.  First of all, to make a mistake as a parent is tough enough but then to have people that know absolutely NOTHING about me, my kids, or the situation really hurt.  They all decided amongst themselves on the post that something had to be done about the world's worst mom and the authorities got called.  FML.  I called Jeremy first thing.  He is my rock and I needed him right now.  He came home lickety split.  We are blessed to have a flexible work.  He stayed with me for a bit until my mom could come over.  I couldn't stop crying.  I knew that I had nothing to hide but, it is still scary to have someone that has that kind of power come into your home and judge you.  Especially when you read those stories in the news like this ONE. 
I think everyone who knows me, knows that I am a pretty paranoid mom.  I worry about everything under the sun.  I would never under any circumstances put my children in any kind of danger.  I don't know any mom that hasn't taken a nap when their little ones are sleeping.  That is what you are supposed to do, right!?!?  Well anyway, when Jeremy got home for the night, we took the kids to Grandma's and went to the store to buy a crap ton of locks.  We went home and installed them all over all the doors, up high where Eden can't get to. 
So, the next day there was a knock at the door and it was a gentleman from DCFS.  He said they had received a call about a child that was being neglected.  Neglected.  That word hurt.  And it makes me tear up even typing it.  Are you kidding me!?  I invited him in and we talked about what happened and he did a safety check of the house.  I showed him that we had a video camera in Eden's room, that we had the bar on the sliding door, that we had installed new locks on the outdoor fenced in yard three weeks ago, that we had installed three more locks the night before.  He was very nice and even told me that he had more important cases than this.  He said they get calls like this all the time and that what I told him was exactly what he wanted to hear....that is was an ACCIDENT.  He said he would have to come back again sometime this week to talk to everyone and then we would be done. 
He said if the case was proven unfounded then it would be over and no record of it.  If it is proven founded then it can go on your record for anywhere from 5 to 50 years.  I know it should be proven unfounded.  But, this coupled with all the gazillion other things weighing on me right now, just might do me in.  I'm at a really low point right now and I hate it. 
Regardless of everything, my main concern is that Eden is safe.  There are some good people in the world that helped her and for that I am beyond grateful. 
What is bothersome is that one of my neighbors watched all of this from their window and did NOTHING.  What if I had been hurt or dead inside the house?  Instead she narrated it all from her window and plastered it all over facebook.  Had I seen a little girl in the street and knew where she lived, I would have ran out and got her and knocked on the door to her house.  Who would know what the circumstances are until you knock and talk!??!  Instead, she judged from afar and got it all wrong.  Instead, she chose to cause trouble for people she doesn't even know.  And to top it all off, this woman has six kids too.  I have NEVER seen her outside with them and they are constantly playing in the street!!  Since this happened I have photographed her children playing, running, chasing balls, and just plain standing IN THE FREAKING STREET.  Although, I would never want to put a family through this, I have my evidence if she wants to push me. 
The silver lining in this, is that this really brings home the point of judging others.  I am guilty of it at times too.  We each fight unique battles and have unique personalities.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  We cannot rush to judgement of others until we know what is in people's hearts.  I will try my best to not judge those around me and to love everyone despite and flaws, weaknesses, or mistakes.