Mud Volleyball

 Every year at Grape Festival there is a Mud Volleyball Tournament.  I have never actually participated in it, though I was SUPPOSED to the year that Jeremy and I started dating but, I stayed out to late with Julie Scheetz the night before and we both overslept, lol!  Anyway, Chris Hutson called Jeremy and wanted to put together a team for old times sake.  Jeremy agreed.  I was going to be doing the Grape Stomp with Trisha that morning.  Well, at the last minute they needed another player so right after the Grape Stomp, I changed and went to play Mud Volleyball, reluctantly, lol!  

 I only actually played for a few minutes but, it was a BLAST!  My main concern was that Jeremy got to have a great time with his best friend, Chris, and his brother, Tyson.  And boy, did they ever!  

Our team actually did better than we thought we would do and got to play until the early afternoon.  

 After we were done playing, we all piled in the back of Tyson's truck and headed down to the river to "wash off".  It was a super fun time and something we are glad we got to do.  

 These guys were hilarious!! 

After this, Jeremy and I actually cleaned up and went to The Wine Barrel because we had heard that the food truck, Fork It, was there.  We went there and got a ton of food to eat and headed to Colchester.  I had really wanted to make it to the Labor Day celebration over there because they have a GINORMOUS flea market and I wanted to get some props, chairs, etc. for photo sessions I had coming up.  We got there late in the day and all the vendors were closing but, we did awesome for the little bit we got to be there and I walked away with a chairs, benches, and props for a great price!! 

Good Article

I read an article on the internet the other day by Stephanie Marsh on Huffington Post.  I am gonna copy and paste it here because it hit so darn close to home for me.  And as I sit here with tears flowing down my face from a fresh argument with the kids, it really, really sinks in. Here it is:

I Am Not That Mom
I am not that mom who sits on the floor with you playing My Little Pony for hours. I am not the mom who builds entire towns on Minecraft. I have never learned to play Pokémon and I never (ever) will. I am well aware of my failure in this aspect of parenting.
I am thankful for my husband, who excels in watching cartoons and playing video games. I smile when I see him and the kids tossing a football in the yard. (In the yard. No throwing balls in the house. Jesus.) I laugh when they wrestle and tickle and play, play, play.
I'm just not that mom.
I was the young soon-to-be mom, scared to death but determined, so determined, to bring you into this world and love you like no other. I was the single mother of two who worked long hours and still held dance parties with just my two boys where we sang at the top of our lungs and the laughter rang as loud as the music. Before you were even born, I was the mom eating cherry cheesecake so I could see you dance. (And because cheesecake.)
When I first saw you, I knew that you would hold my heart forever. Two more times I met my new sweet babies, and two more times my heart grew to wrap around all of you. When you were a baby, I was that mom who couldn't sleep for looking at you. I can still feel you, so tiny, snuggled on my chest. When I see you asleep now, I still picture you curled up in footie pajamas, all wispy hair and dark lashes against perfect skin.
I was that mom who rocked you all night, patting and bouncing and shh, shh, shhing when you cried. I was the mom who panicked over every bump and bruise. I was the mom who kissed boo boos. I was the mom who spent untold hours waiting on casts for broken bones or bandages for cut fingers. (Safety scissors, my ass.) I was the mom whose leg you were firmly wrapped around the day we toured preschools. I was the mom who went to school online in order to work from home because you needed me.
I am the mom who signs notes and checks homework and packs lunches. I'm the mom who makes the doctor's visits and dentist appointments and parent teacher conferences. I'm the mom who hasn't worn anything but thrift store clothes for years so that you can go to school wearing clothes that are apparently hand-sewn by the famous athletes of the world.
I'm the mom who makes stupid jokes and sings off-key and acts sillier than I am just to see you smile. I'm the mom who wouldn't trade those smiles for the entire world.
I'm the mom who loves you so much more than I could ever explain. And the mom who tries so hard to show you that.
But most times I feel like I am also the mom who is failing.
I'm the mom with chronic recurring depression. I'm the mom with generalized anxiety disorder. I'm the mom with PTSD. I'm the mom who has chronic migraines. I'm the mom with chronic pain. I'm the mom who sees more doctors than hairstylists. (Hahaha, I don't even remember the last time I went to a stylist. But you have an appointment tomorrow.)
I am the mom who struggles every single day to accomplish the things that have to be done so that you can have a "normal" life. I am the mom who does your laundry even when I have to sit down to sort it. I'm the mom who makes sure the water bill gets paid so that you can shower. I'm the mom who clips your fingernails and buys you toothpaste and nags you to wear deodorant.
I'm also the mom who forgets things. Not the big stuff, like birthdays or Christmas, although there have been a few notes from the Tooth Fairy instead of cash. But I forget things that you already told me. I forget that when you were playing a video game yesterday, you scored 58 touchdowns and a free throw, and spawned...maybe a chicken? I don't know. I forget.
But I'm also the mom who can tell in a single glance when you are upset, and who listens to you when you are sad and angry and when you are happy and excited, even if I do tend to forget your ponies' names and LeBron's stats and how to catch 'em all.
I'm the mom who wants to slay all your dragons and breathe fire on anyone who dares to hurt you.
I'm also the mom who too often hurts too much to cook dinner. I'm the mom who lets you eat an unhealthy amount of macaroni and pizza rolls. I'm the mom who has piles of clean laundry on the couch because my arms ache so badly I can't fold it. I'm the mom who gets overwhelmed too easily. I'm the mom who has to hide when things get to be too much. I'm that mom who cries in the bathroom when I've let you down.
I'm the mom who stays awake at night worrying about you. I'm the mom who wishes she could save all your hugs and all your "I love you's" and get them back out on the days when there are no hugs, just slamming doors.
I'm the mom who loves you SO MUCH. You are the children who save my life every day. I'm the mom who is trying to be the parent you deserve, even when I'm not the one you might want.

Gonna Try To Blog Again

 Started this post a couple of weeks ago or more.  I don't know.....whatever.....I WANT to blog more.  I want to do lots of things but,......I can't seem to wrap my head around life and the crazy things going on in it right now, lol!  And in turn, in can't seem to function normally. I'm not allowed to discuss much yet either.  I need a serious break from life and re-evaluate life, the universe, and everything.  One thing weighing heavy on my heart today is that one of my best friends in the history of ever, Denae, found out that she has Stage 3 Primary Biliary Liver Cirrhosis.  They are thinking they can keep her alive and off the liver transplant list if she responds well to treatment, which I hope she does.  I just want to leave and drive straight to Arizona.  But, I can't.  Which makes me bitter sometimes, and it shouldn't but, it does.  And I have come to realize just how immediate every single thing in the world is, we cannot assume that someone will just "know" how we feel about them, or that they will hear us after they have passed on either.  I have made that mistake before and it is not one I want to repeat.  Anyway, I will move on to another topic.  Gonna blog the crap out of this dang blog, straight away.

 

Insights From Cullen

"Whoever wins is the winner." 

Beggar's Night 2015

Eden dressed as her own version of Anna from the movie, Frozen.

Cedric dressed himself as a soldier.  We bought him some khaki pants and a camo thermal shirt and he found the rest of the stuff himself. 

 This time of year is always super busy but, adding my own business to mix has been new with both good and bad results, lol!  I am definitely learning a ton and trying to adjust where necessary but, whew!  Anyway, so Halloween kinda snuck up on us this year....I mean we knew it was coming but, we were dealing with other stuff first and then all of a sudden the days to actually dress up were right around the corner(the next day, lol) and I was making a mad dash to the store to try and get last minute costumes.  So, this year I had six kids dress up.  Tristan has reached the age where he didn't want to and he decided to stay at our house and pass out candy instead, which was fine with me because I always want to pass out candy at our house but, never get to. That was one of the itty bitty, teeny tiny good things about living in Carthage was that we would do Beggar's Night in Nauvoo and then on Halloween, I could pass out candy in Carthage and some of the kids would trick or treat Carthage too. Anyway, I digress, so....Liam wanted to be a dementor from Harry Potter but, at the last minute all I could find was that spooky looking thing he is wearing(I can't remember what it was actually called, lol) and he was fine and dandy with it! Yay! Asher wanted to be a ninja again.  But, not the same ninja as last year(that would be too easy....and free), so he was a different ninja this year.  Cullen wanted to be a soldier as well.  Luckily, for his recent birthday he got a dress up army play set! We just bought some cheap camo pants and camo long sleeve shirt and used the play set for the rest.  

Eden wanted to be Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony.  I searched high and low.  Couldn't find ANY My Little Pony costumes anywhere.(I had one in my Amazon shopping cart for at least two weeks ahead of time because I put in it there right after I ordered Viv's costume.  Do you think I could click ONE LITTLE BUTTON to order it in time.  Nope.) So, I looked for a different costume she might like and they were all like $40 or more.  Stupid.  I decided to look in the little girls dress up section in the toy section of Walmart while I was there.  I found a cardboard decorated treasure chest with two Anna and Elsa dress up costumes with some jewelry, hair stuff, and stickers or something.  It was on clearance for $20!  The costumes and the cardboard treasure chest were both cheaply made but, I thought we could work with what was in it.  I was so dang worried that Eden would not want anything to do with it because she had been dead set on being Twilight Sparkle.  Too my delight, she LOVED it!! She had zero issues with being Anna or Elsa (it took her a few minutes to decide but, she chose Anna, which I thought was appropriate because they look similar.) She was obsessed with carrying the treasure chest around for the next week, lol! 

Vivianne was Pinky Winky the Monster.  She was adorable.  When it came in the mail, it was just me and her home.  I took it out of the shipping packaging and showed her the costume still in the package and she immediately wanted to hold it.  I took it out and she held on to my shoulder and lifted her foot up like she wanted to get dressed!! :)  So, we put it on her right then and there and she LOVED it!! She wanted to wear it around all the time.  I took a quick picture and video to send to Jeremy and we took it off to not get it too dirty before Halloween but, she still wore it a few times before Halloween anyway, lol!  Anytime she sees it, she wants to put it on.  I just put it in the Halloween tote to store though...so no more, I guess. 

 

 We decided to try trick or treating in Bluff Woods this year, since it is where we live, could walk, and we had heard that Bluff Woods was THE place to trick or treat, lol!  And it was!! We only did a small part of it too.  We knew that Grandma Kelley had food and treats at her house so we thought we would finish up in town and start in Bluff Woods.

 All the kids were smitten with Vivianne as usual.  She is a super lucky girl to have so many people dote all over her, all the time!  

 Eden picked out everything for her costume.  She is freaking awesome.  She had on fleece lined black leggings, a purple shirt, her Anna dress, purple socks, pink shoes, her fleece winter hat, and of course she can't go anywhere without her backpack loaded to the brim. 

All the kids were super excited and cute when the went to the doors.  At first Eden was annoyed and yelled at people to give her the candy.  Once she saw how it worked, she started saying "Trick or Treat" and " Please and Thank you".  She was so thrilled every time she got something!  

 One house gave out bags of candy AND these cute little pumpkin flashlights.  Asher told the lady that hers was the best house ever.  LOL! She didn't give one to Viv, which I understand but, Vivi was really sad she didn't have one to hold on to.  

After trick or treating in Bluff Woods for a bit, we loaded everyone up and went to town to trick or treat.  After that the whole family kinda hung out at Grandma Kelley's house, ate yummy food, and chatted with everyone.  Then we all came home and crashed.  Trick or treating was a success and actually really, really fun this year!!! YAY!!

Ferzagot

Just a little cute blurb about Eden Rose.  She likes to say: "I ferzagot." instead of :"I forgot."  It is adorable and I want to remember it. 

Prepare Ye Self

After taking a long, long time off......today is the day, friends!  Steel those reading eyes because....BLOG POSTS ARE COMING!

I have had enough of everyone's bullshit.  Yesterday, I hated every single person in the entire world.  Today I am trying to not.  But, dear god, people make it hard to love them....or even like them at some points.  Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

Here We Go

Tristan officially has his driving permit.  This is so weird.  I don't know how to treat him this old yet.  I feel all weird and awkward dealing with teenage things....and this is the age I thought I would totally rock at being a parent.  I feel sorry for my kids because I have no idea what I am doing. 

Anyway, we have been driving with him a few times already and he is extremely careful.  Which I love.  But, how will he drive when I am not in the car?  lol.  I really am excited for him.  I remember how excited I was to start driving. 

First Day of School 2015-2016

 August 17, 2015 was the first day of school this year.  Also, my Asher Bedasher's 9th birthday!  He was disappointed when he learned that the first day of school was on his birthday but, handled it like a trooper.  Tristan has had the same issue before.  Those August birthdays.  Asher is in 4th grade this year and his teacher is Mrs. Rose.  So far, do good. 

 Liam is in 5th grade this year and his teacher is Ms. Adkisson(Ms. A). 

 Cedric is in 8th grade and has multiple teachers.  He is on the top of the totem pole this year in Jr. High but, will be back at the bottom next year in high school, lol. 

 Cullen is in 1st grade this year and his teacher is Mrs. Bray. 

 Tristan is in 10th grade this year.  He is taking driver's ed and I am crazy.  We have laid down the law and said that he won't get his permit or driver's license if he doesn't keep his grades in check this year.  Hopefully that is motivation enough.  

Eden Rose is in Kindergarten this year and her teacher is Mrs. Fink.  She was SO excited, she could hardly contain it! I sent a box of pullups with her since she has refused to potty for me at all.  The first week of school quickly fixed this problem and now she takes herself to the bathroom all alone without even telling anyone!! So proud!  Wearing big girl panties all day, every day!! Woot!

We made the choice to have the kids ride the bus to and from school this year.  We have never done this because I remember having bad experiences  on the school bus.  But, what a blessing it has been!  Our mornings go so much smoother.  And Jeremy can get to work on time, which we had issues with in previous years. 

Vivi and I had a super duper first day to ourselves.  This girl is pure joy.  She loves being outside.  So we went outside to wait for the bus to bring her brothers and sister home from school.  I was hoping and praying that Eden handled the bus well because they are the last ones dropped off. 

She is so funny!  She doesn't like grass.  So when I tossed the ball to her and it rolled in the grass, she was so cute trying to figure out how to get that ball without putting her feet in the grass! lol! :)

Cutting the grass with toenail clippers.  Efficient, right?!!?

This is so funny!  I took all these pics in quick succession.  The bus pulled up right in front of our small willow tree, which was annoying but, whatever.  As soon as the bus pulled up, Eden shot out of the bus like a cannon!

About right here, I noticed that she didn't have her backpack and said:"Eden, where is your backpack?"

As soon as I said it, her world was crushed.  Her brand new backpack was gone forever or so she thought.

Luckily her big brothers chased the bus down and got it to stop around the corner.  When they came back with her backpack she was most relieved!  They all had great first days and loved the "new school".  The elementary school was moved into the same building as the Jr. High this year.

Morning Blurb

I am having a meltdown over my fitbit.  Lol, for reals.  It is still tracking everything for me but, won't sync up with any device.  I have to manually enter all my steps.  So annoying.
But...........
So far today has been freaking awesome!! :)  It is my Asher's 9th Birthday and the first day of school for the 2015-2016 school year! The morning went off without a hitch! I just got me and Viv here and it feels amazing!!  I already am getting stuff done and getting to spend time with just Vivi.  She is loving the access to all the toys that Eden usually snatches from her!  lol!
I woke up at 5:00am so that I could get a handle on the day.  Everyone was awake except for Jeremy and the girls.  I made some biscuits and gravy, fried eggs,toast, and individual cartons of orange juice with little straws for Asher's birthday breakfast/back to school.  I bet he hates having his birthday then.  Jeremy says that he always hated it too.  Tristan has the same issue some years.  I think Eden is in the clear but, still early on in the school year.  We got some Lofthouse cookies and I took those out to school for Asher's birthday treat.  Jeremy bought 50 of them for Asher's class, lol! 
We signed the kids up to ride the bus this year but, when it didn't show up when it said it would, Jeremy loaded everyone up and took them to school.  I think they are riding the bus home. Vivianne and I will be waiting with the camera! 
I have slowly been writing this since about nine this morning.  The day is going well.  Vivianne is down for her nap and I am planning Asher's birthday supper. I am planning on making a big batch of meatballs to freeze and might just do spaghetti and meatballs.  I also thought about pork chops, mashed potatoes/gravy, corn, and noodles.  I can't decide. 
Our shed is overrun with wasps nests.  They are EVERYWHERE.  It is like a battle every time we go to the shed.  And we have two hornets nests in the best trees in the backyard.  So far no one has been stung.  But, I just had an epic battle with a huge wasp that got in the house.  It refused to die and it kept stinging the broom over and over and over again.  It was frightening.
So, the kids JUST walked in the door from school......at 4:45pm!! Criminey!

Well, everything went really well today! I was expecting pure chaos and everything just kinda flowed today.  Sweet!! We had home made spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, and waffle or regular ice cream cones.  Asher got a new toy machine gun and a transformers lego set.  AND he gets to pick out whatever new bike his little heart desires!! More details on stuff from the day later!!